spo0nman ([info]spo0nman) wrote,
@ 2007-04-20 17:06:00
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Current mood: anxious
Entry tags:poetry

motherland
There was a massive power cut last night, starting 7pm last night and there was no electricity when I left for work today. What does one do when that happens? Read poetry all night long. So, we sat and read Ghalib, Dorothy Parker, Elliot and many many more till 6 am in the morning. Very nice. And I was asked to do impromptu translations, you know how sucky those are right?

Was going through this one by Faiz, and was surprised to not find a translation. Here is my bad translation of the first verse.

nisaar mai.n terii galiyo.n ke ae watan, ki jahaa.N
chalii hai rasm ki koii na sar uThaa ke chale
jo koii chaahanewaalaa tawaaf ko nikale
nazar churaa ke chale, jism-o-jaa.N bachaa ke chale

Martyr I, for your streets oh! motherland, where
the custom is to not walk with one's head held high.
Where If a loved one goes to al-Ka`bah,
fears getting seen, fears ... life.

Dilliwaalon! lukhnow-waalon! help translate this one.


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[info]code_martial
2007-04-20 12:09 pm UTC (link)
It's somewhat difficult to do a literal translation of this because it uses some idiomatic phrases. I'll try to translate this with the intended meaning:
I'd die for your streets, O motherland, where
it's customary now that no one walks with head held high;
That when a lover [of the motherland] goes out for a walk,
walks avoiding being sighted, walks trying to save body and soul.

The last line is rather difficult to translate. "...fears... life." gives an impression that the person is afraid of living, which isn't really the case.

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[info]sankarshan
2007-04-22 04:55 am UTC (link)
"Die for your streets" might be better as "buried under your pavements" - admittedly difficult to translate but would be more apt

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[info]spo0nman
2007-04-20 12:54 pm UTC (link)
Nice. Did you read the entire poem?

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[info]code_martial
2007-04-21 05:52 pm UTC (link)
Use the reply button dude. I didn't get a notification for this comment.

I was gonna tell you, I did read the entire poem. Couldn't understand some bits of it because the words were unknown but I found it to be quite beautiful. It's a strange blend of feelings: optimism, nonchalance, outrage, all mixed in one.

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A rough hack
[info]sankarshan
2007-04-22 04:54 am UTC (link)
http://sankarshan.randomink.org/blog/2007/04/22/some-bits-from-faiz/ is a rough hack

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Re: A rough hack
[info]code_martial
2007-04-22 11:26 am UTC (link)
That translation seems to be the most appropriate.

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Re: A rough hack
[info]spo0nman
2007-04-23 10:18 pm UTC (link)
Is it from the book translated by V.G Kiernan?

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